Dear, Joan of Arc
AT your house,I pulled a small envelope from my pocket and wordlessly, tenderly I wanted to presented it to you but I didn't. I recognized the uneven penmanship as my heart’s. My mind raced. “Oh, Jay! Is this the letter—the one I’ve begged myself to write for so long?” My soul glimmering tears answered silently. I would have suggested you read it when you were alone.
Later that night, as I got in the car sat in the driver side amid the glow of flickering flames and the hazy halo of your eyes lights, I tore the envelope with trembling fingers and the precious missive. Onto several little pices note pages, my stoic soul had melted, giving way to a litany of love. For as long as I could remember, Danielle had never looked so Beautiful, how I wanted to voiced my tenderness toward her. What I could not say in person now flowed freely from my pen. I wrote and wept—and wept again. Gently placing the papers back in the envelope, I knew I was placing a lifetime of Danielle's love in my heart.
How well I understood Danielle, came to me not as a surprise but as a gift to me. I had often tried unsuccessfully to understand others. verbalize my love to my heavenly Father. Self-conscious and stilted, I found it impossible to speak my love to another human. It was difficult to concentrate and to articulate my deepest feelings for a stranger. My endearments were spoken scattershot—blurted erratically, thrown haphazardly to the wind. I began to realize that sentiments so treasured, so tender, must be carefully weighed and thoughtfully considered, mined like gems from the heart’s depths.
It is the gift of your whole heart that I most desires—a heart without pretense or posturing; a heart in all its honesty, beauty, passion, and brokenness; a heart pulsing with love, joy, sadness, delight, doubt, pain, anguish, even anger. True love expresses all emotions, and true love—my true love for you—accepts them.
The most beautiful way I have found in which to wrap the gift of my heart is within a letter. Love letters are “our heart on our sleeve, our battle standard, our essence, our indelible signature, our emotional fingerprint, our private well of memory…our true secret self.”
maybe some day I'll see you smile as you call my name, Jay...
