the heart’s depths #26

Dear, Joan of Arc

AT your house,I pulled a small envelope from my pocket and wordlessly, tenderly I wanted to presented it to you but I didn't. I recognized the uneven penmanship as my heart’s. My mind raced. “Oh, Jay! Is this the letter—the one I’ve begged myself to write for so long?” My soul glimmering tears answered silently. I would have suggested you read it when you were alone.

Later that night, as I got in the car sat in the driver side amid the glow of flickering flames and the hazy halo of your eyes lights, I tore the envelope with trembling fingers and the precious missive. Onto several little pices note pages, my stoic soul had melted, giving way to a litany of love. For as long as I could remember, Danielle had never looked so Beautiful, how I wanted to voiced my tenderness toward her. What I could not say in person now flowed freely from my pen. I wrote and wept—and wept again. Gently placing the papers back in the envelope, I knew I was placing a lifetime of Danielle's love in my heart.

How well I understood Danielle, came to me not as a surprise but as a gift to me. I had often tried unsuccessfully to understand others. verbalize my love to my heavenly Father. Self-conscious and stilted, I found it impossible to speak my love to another human. It was difficult to concentrate and to articulate my deepest feelings for a stranger. My endearments were spoken scattershot—blurted erratically, thrown haphazardly to the wind. I began to realize that sentiments so treasured, so tender, must be carefully weighed and thoughtfully considered, mined like gems from the heart’s depths.
It is the gift of your whole heart that I most desires—a heart without pretense or posturing; a heart in all its honesty, beauty, passion, and brokenness; a heart pulsing with love, joy, sadness, delight, doubt, pain, anguish, even anger. True love expresses all emotions, and true love—my true love for you—accepts them.

The most beautiful way I have found in which to wrap the gift of my heart is within a letter. Love letters are “our heart on our sleeve, our battle standard, our essence, our indelible signature, our emotional fingerprint, our private well of memory…our true secret self.”

maybe some day I'll see you smile as you call my name, Jay...

My existence with yours.....#25

Dearest Joy of life,

"I'm not sure what LOVE is ...what I do know is the love of a mother and family. But from a total stranger no-never, never had one. I think I came close once but I looked into her eyes and I know that it isn't there. so far all I know is that it's a word and that it exist. it's there" I met you and now I get an idea of it. I quite liked needing to, really. The autonomy and LOVE and freedom that I felt when my arms came to your level was (I assume) that of the not average, but best human being ever it was all beer and skittles, ya dig? While the world is shitting in there oatmeal, I was in heaven's above. In your eye level And there ain't no cling wrap to cover it. But what's not rubbish, is your existence is real. Its created to be loved, I assume, not for the pain of living. I feel this joy in sporadic spurts which are usually halted by the sudden realization of the shit being placed in this world. I never liked the world, really. Both in the metaphorical sense and the literal sense. Its an old man meal, ain't it? Oh man. But I learned of your existence and my mind now has a difference of opinion of this crazzzy woe of a world.
My existence with yours. We could do with a nice vacation. And someone to show me the ropes (more like yes you!)...of life, not vacationing. But you know, it is what it is. I'm not thinking much of anything now that all that has been said. Does every one's thoughts have an Essex accent? Makes one wonder if people in Essex's thoughts are thrown at them in a Los Angeles threat. Think Parkway toll collectors. I think I should write a book (would you read it?). Would I be able to stay on topic long enough to draw in attention? Likely not. Does it frighten you to see that I think this way consecutively? Like, my brain has no segues. Just bam bam bam random. fucking. shit. Here ya go Jay, your brain has Tourette's! Not in the "Danielle has Tourette's' sense...more like...if my brain had a brain controlling my brain, the brain's brain would be giving my brain Tourette's. My mind has "diarrhea of the thought", much like my issue of diarrhea of the mouth. It just thinks as it thinks and tosses these thoughts at my conscience like there's no tomorrow. Maybe there isn't a tomorrow. Who are we to judge? I'd like to meet Saint Peter, sooner than later I hope. I have a lot of explaining to do.

So Come, Armageddon! come! Armageddon! come! here and always, Jay

"SPEEDWAY"
And when you slam Down the hammer Can you see it in your heart ? All of the rumours Keeping me grounded I never said, I never said that they were Completely unfounded
So when you slam Down the hammer Can you see it in your heart ? Can you delve so low ? And when you're standing On my fingers Can you see it in your heart ? ... ah ...And when you try To break my spirit It wont work Because theres nothing left to break Anymore All of the rumours Keeping me grounded I never said, I never said that they were Completely unfounded
You wont sleep Until the earth that wants me Finally has me Oh you've done it now You wont rest Until the hearse that becomes me Finally takes me Oh you've done it now And you wont smile Until my loving mouth Is shut good and proper Forever
All of the rumours Keeping me grounded I never said, I never said that they were Completely unfounded And all those lies Written lies, twisted lies Well, they weren't lies They weren't lies They weren't lies
I never said I never said I could have mentioned your name I could have dragged you in Guilt by implication By association Ive always been true to you In my own strange way Ive always been true to you In my own sick way Ill always stay true to you..........

MORRISSEY, YOU, AND ME IN 'VIENNA'.......#24

Dear white golden Pearl, from the SEA

I had a dream last night "That we had gone to see MORRISSEY in 'VIENNA'

"Look at me now from difficult child, to spectral hand, to Claude Brasseur, blah blah blah."

We went to see Morrissey for the first time overseas in VIENNA AUSTRIA, at the Wellmont. It was, in fact, the greatest experience of my life. You were there with me. and it was just me and you We showed up 3 1/2 hours early, to see MORRISSEY drive up to the building. We stood still as we see the man himself get out of a car. He looked amazing, so well dressed you were melting from the inside out as i was trying to cool you down. So we ended up first row, stage center. we made eye contact a few times with the man and even managed to obtain a piece of one of his D & G shirts thrown into the crowd. You manage to get on stage as he was singing "I KNOW IT'S OVER" even the bouncers help you get on stage.

You said he'd "smell spectacular." The night was completed by my successful launch over the barricade and a handshake; complete with smile and bow from Mr. Morrissey himself. I was unable to say anything except "Oh...my...God" for hours afterward. The setlist was impeccable and ironically enough, he played the same encore as the last show I attended at MANCHESTER LADS CLUB in October of unknown year: First of the Gang to Die.

I fly in the night Standing, with you underneath the sky, Jay

Here is the dream setlist.....

1. "the queen is dead"

2. "I will see you in far off places"

3. "when last I spoke to carol"

4. "all you need is me"

5. "Last of the famous international playboys"

6. "I'm throwing my arms around Paris"

7. "the loop"

8. "I like you"

9. "my love life"

10. "Alsatian Cousin"

11. "girl afraid"

12. "disappointed"

13. "paint a vulgar"

14. "Roy's keen"

15. "life is a pigsty"

16. "let me kiss you"

17. "Seasick, yet still docked"

18. "the boy with the thorn in his side"

19. "whatever happens, i love you"

20. "break up the family"

21. "at amber"

22. "the youngest was the most loved"

23. "I know it's over"

24. "Subway Train/Everyday Is Like Sunday"

25. "My dearest love"

26. "Speedway"

27. "Suedhead"

28. "There is a light that never goes out "

29. " I have forgiven Jesus"

30. "Angel, Angel down we go together

ENCORE

"Tomorrow"

"Jack The Ripper"

"Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want"

"First of the Gang to Die"

D.Gold, you made it to easy for me to find you.... #23

D.Gold, you made it to easy for me to find you....

"All of the gifts that they gave can't compare in any way... ...to the love I am now giving to you. Right here, right now, on the floor." MORRISSEY.
Writing whatever pops into my head is funny because you make it to easy for me. I'm happy are you happy?. "Don't change for you, don't change a thing for me." You'll never grow old in me. I feel old but for some reason I feel I'm going to get younger. I like to sleep that must be it. "For one so small, you seem so strong Mrs Gold." Apple cake not pie is foul. Morrissey has made me more human than conception could have ever managed.

Fetuses are merely parasites anyway. If I die before I'm 50, Natalie who's across the hall is gonna be pissed. She told me this 5 weeks ago. Something about cigarettes and stress. "She has been telling me that I have been acting childish. Foolish, ghoulish and...childish because all i do is talk about Danielle,Danielle,Danielle,and Danielle. Oh I know, I know, I know, I know, I KNOW...but I don't mind." I'm proud to be your fan. It does not bother me to say if this is love Because if you don't want to talk about it. Then it is love And I guess I'm going to have to live that But, I'm sure there's something in a shade of us Or something in between is stuck in my head. I love DREAMING is a way of life do you agree?. There's nothing wrong with it, Is what gives hope. "PENNY LANE" That's you silly. is hot like woah. I'm going to bed now (can't wait to close my eyes). I can't be philosophical when I can hardly be mobile. Its purely psychological...and corruptly metaphorical. The things you make me talk about and I love it!.....

I think normally in Los Angeles, if you can call it normal thinking, Jay

IT'S SUNDAY, I'M IN LOVE....WITH MORRISSEY AND YOU....#22

IT'S SUNDAY, I'M IN LOVE....WITH MORRISSEY....Miss. MOZ_GIRL

So there really can only be one Morrissey and one Danielle in this world. Last week I mentioned to my friend, between 1988 and 2008, only two out of the twenty million people i have come across in this life of mine only MORRISSEY and you ANGEL have made their mark in me. in a way that i can even explain. of the great MORRISSEY's singles released during this period your eyes, mouth,teeth,hair,and whole make you the top one. Fast forward seven years to the comeback that's (YOU ARE THE QUARRY)...and all four singles released in 2007 go Top 10. The only other act to enjoy such chart success is you.

Here is a letter i wrote to MORRISSEY, once. It never made it or as i like to call it. it just got lost in traffic.

Dear MORRISSEY,

Without you my life is incomplete:
I say it all the time...but I've never meant something more in my life. A day without Morrissey is a miserable one. I kid you not. When you retire from this world...I shall cry for longer than you could ever imagine because you would no longer be here to write my life. You do it so well at time i have to turn just to look behind me to make sure you are not there writing about me. But somehow you still manege to do so. Regardless of what you claim, you're the only one who always was there, always is there, and always will be there to comfort and understand me. If you could only fathom how much you have meant to so many...you'd feel incredibly better about yourself.

Dear Morrissey,

I've always wanted to say loads to you. But I've settled on the main point: Thank you.

Love,Jay

MORRISSEY'S shirts...... #21

I Am Human And I Need To Be Loved...just like you and everybody else......

Yes, indeed! Today I thought I tell you about the awesome week I had in concerts with my friends in 2004'. I don't know if you were touring live shows at this time but InTo round off a kick-ass concert week I had in '04' that started off with Erasure and included New Order, we saw Morrissey live that week too.The man has an amazing voice and is so very theatrical. It's quite a show "YOU ARE THE QUARRY" Tour.

Random stuff that happened that night:~ As we made our way to the restroom during the opening act, because we had drank so much before the concert my Sexy Suburbanite friend (Jessica) turned to me and declared she was being orally raped. I looked at her mouth and then frowned. I was about to say, "Ummm...no I'm not in you yet, but after the show I will. you are not," when I realized she had in fact said. "I am being aurally raped." She was referring to the atrocious sounds emanating from the opening act. Damn the English language and the similar pronunciation of words that are spelled differently and mean different things. But it makes for fun times! haha....

~ Morrissey took off his shirt several times like always. Each time, he wiped his sweaty body with the piece of clothing and then flung it to his adoring fans. Luckily, we had seats further back and up and were not hit because people were fighting for (mostly men). However, a conversation ensued with John, about what would one do with said shirt. Would one hang it and let it stink up the closet with Morrissey's smell and then the room? Or, might one wash it and loose the smell? But then, there would no longer be Essence du Morrissey. Conundrum. The things Morrissey makes us talk about even while singing.

~ I started screaming, as he was singing "NOW MY HEART IS FULL" and Jessica said "Sperminate me, Morrissey." (lol on SPERMINATE) God bless Jessica, Now I see the stupidity of her ways. Of course she wants children. Morrissey has her man juice so she can carry he's seed haha. I look at Jessica and say to her "In MORRISSEY world that would never happen." Jessicsa looks at me " Well, at lest i have a chance in this world right?" Luckily, the music was louder than usual and only I heard. And of course I was just having a laugh...isn't Morrissey asexual?~ I don't know about his sexuality...but he was on something or other. At one point he stated, "So I reckon by the time we get to Jacksonville we'll get our heads beaten in by little school girls. The crime rate there is really low." Ummm. Sure. OK. Step away from the mic slowly MORRISSEY haha. we still love you....That's all I got at the moment. I am so on overdrive it is not even funny.Love y'all!

I'm a million different people all rolled into one, Jay

P.S. How I wish you were here.....

My dear Lovegrove #20

My dear Lovegrove,

I find that writing these at 2:30 AM on a Saturday night is a good way to make myself laugh manically when I roll out of bed in the morning because i had writen about you and your never ending beauty. But I'm not even a little tired this time. I just ate an insane amount of Mexican food (undoubtedly something I will regret in 20 minutes) and drank a flat Coke it just teats better do you like your coke flat?. I feel like that idiot Joe Rogan; high and annoying. god i hate this brick!
I'm going to kill The Smiths if "GIRL AFRAID" doesn't download. I've had to do it about 5 times now. Morrissey may argue that "The Smiths is Dead". But as that great t-shirt argued "Morrissey is officially a twat".

I've realized recently that despite how hilarious I find them, my obscure 80's references have absolutely no impact on most of the people I know but you well i know where we stand. Maybe I'll stick to the easy ones: Madonna (T_T), The Breakfast Club and AIDs.
I've stopped being not tired. Such a pain in the arse, sleep is. It bothers you with yawns and weary eyelids. Yet once you submit, sleep refuses to come...and then leaves only a few hours after arrival. do you agree?

"Los Angeles, I'm yours." I've always wanted to say that don't ask.

I get strange notions when I'm tired. I often believe I'm much more intelligent than I actually am. Its rather cute. Currently I happen to be wired...being kept active by Hot Fries and Dr. Pepper. I can hear The Creatures playing from somewhere in this room but I can't pinpoint a location i think it's the green winds. My forehead feels stiff. I feel the need to express random thoughts at this very moment, just to steal the virginity of this letter. I watch the sun come up every day. It makes me feel like a poet---like a romantic.
My toes are cold. I have no intention of growing up. I love my posters. His name is Mozzy, and he is named after sex. The sun is rising. I should sleep. But if I did things I should do, I'd be in a much more desirable position.
I like to be lazy---its a pastime of the aesthetes.
Did you notice that all i did was talk about my laziness. I'm sure you can relate to me on this one.

the bed that carries my dreams, Jay

Dearest Madam Mozza #19

Dearest Madam Mozza,

Hello, it's exactly one and a half hours until I'm able to set eyes on the most important, most beautiful, most perfect, well, i can just go on and on can I? person i have ever seen. I know you probably receive incredible amounts of letters and I can only pray that this little insignificant piece of paper will reach your fingertips; I'll write just in case. Allow me to write more about you, since I've already been nosey enough to find every piece of literature and beauty about you, although I'm sure I don't have a clue. Anyway, I have to write this,Otherwise I'd run straight into the ARCHES'. It was myspace in 2008 and that's when I became a part of the culturally confused portion of your following, well, just like me "MORRISSEY". I'm sure that all of your friends tell you that you are "crazy" they can't never relate to "MORRISSEY" like me and you. everything he write and says in interviews makes perfect sence to me and you I'm sure! I'll hope you assume all of those types of things. It does feel as though when i call you "Angel" that you intended to save my life. God, that sounds selfish. Anyway, I hope I'll sound different so that maybe I can somehow reach you. And I hope to God you haven't stopped reading because you think I'm unintelligent or too young. Please give me a chance to be your friend well, something more. I'm afraid that what I write will seem so insignificant and shallow that you will just laugh and go on to the next letter. I hope you don't mind if for a second I pay you some of my sincerest, deepest compliments because you deserve them. You are the most PERFECT, mysterious, sensual, intelligent, compassionate, beautiful, interesting, original girl in the world according to me. I have this fantasy of getting past the realities in life (I'm a man) of having you in order to survive and then devoting my whole life to seeking you out and having a life-long friendship with you, if you'd have me as your friend that is. You're probably thinking "what an overconfident, little brat". I want to know about you, and I want you to know that I'm listening when you spoke. What you have to say is very valuable to my existence. I want to be "alone" with you, because I too am surrounded by people and am totally alone. When I read your eyes, your words just seem to exude pain. I as a loyal man can't bear to watch you suffer without trying to put an end to it. Let me into your world, please. Let someone in. I want to take care of you and hold you if you cry. After the trauma you've withstood for all these years, it's no wonder you seem numb. I have feelings for you that I've never felt for another human being. I probably sound like a bad, top 40 love song right about now so I'll stop. I'm in love with you and you'll never hear me. Anyway, you're the best human on my list if counts for anything and I love you. Goodbye.

I say it all the time...but I've never meant something more in my life, Jay

P.S. A day without Morrissey is a miserable one.......

Dearest Pale Brown Eyes, (never strange to me) #18

Dearest Pale Brown Eyes, (never strange to me)

Ah well, home is where the art is. I flew in from Cochella yesterday (but of course, dear!). Your glorious majestic presence there was so perfect I was more exited to see you than our beloved MORRISSEY, (as we young moderns call it) LOVE AT FIRST SITE.

I'm flying back this Sunday for the poor cure, but really I'm coming back for you to see you, but until, I'm nesting here in mah old little house living on fresh air and grass. you looked very lovely i must say with that green MORRISSEY 101 shirt you had on. I notice the pin you also had on. your hair, your lips, your smile my,oh my. such a peaceful site. you just had it all and you knew this going in to the park, you knew you would steal all spot lights in my eyes. and our lovely MORRISSEY was great too.

Why don't you come and visit me? Why don't I come and visit you? I'd love to see you over and over, you can't never be a dead cultural to me. or at least you should come down here for an hour and I could give you a tour of our Paris city, and after I've woken you up we could eat at my fave place, the Great American Disaster. Think about it. It can't be that expensive, and you're probably rolling in it anyway. So, what have you been doing? How long have you been doing it? And do you wash your hands when you've finished? Wake up, there's more! Yes, ah'm an artiste! How did you guess? I've just had a book published on Mrs. Gayle, I think that's you, you're reading it now. I'd love to send you a copy too, but I only have two myself. Watch out for my James Dean book. Such a torrid, crazy, insane life I lead! I am presently forming a group, in fact have done so. We are called Angels Are Genderless and are rehearsing as soon as my jet-lag subsides. So, what's exciting in YOUR life, young petite-girl-pale skin?

I heard that the 'YEARS OF REFUSAL' 45 got to No.98, but the web says it made it to No.197. Someone is lying! Ve haff vays to find ze truth! It's a terrible bore that "carol" is not the next single. I'm glad you bought and liked "YEARS OF REFUSAL". Such a refined record too, esp "All that is my own". Since you ask, the US music scene is a right! Even in New York they play all that you'd expect to hear - the stones, the Beatles, and Springsteen. Daring. "New wave" djs will risk lynching and play the Pretenders. I heard 'Cars' by Shirley Numan and it sounded glorious to me (yes, things were THAT bad). So strange to come back to grey old Los Angeles and see 13 year old boys with yellow hair. What could it all mean? And who are AFI anyway? Joe rogan bores the shit out of me. I just wanna kick his ASS!

Davey-boy isn't as recognized as he ought to be over yonder. Most people are still outraged at the mention of his name. I haven't been to the movies yet since Batman wow that's a long time, and won't rest until I do. The play, of course, was out of the question. Pernod! Smashing windows? You want taking in hand. What does your mother say about all this? You young Angel! But yes, I too sing along to David's records MORRISSEY - Cygnet Committee Unwashed & Slightly Dazed got me through February.....

And tell me 'o wise thing, is there anyone sleeping in YOUR bed? You can tell me EVERYTHING!

Your friend, Jay

P.S. I wish this was my add.384 Kings Road Stretford Manchester m32-86w (061-881-7125) <- No, I don't expect a phone-call, but then I don't expect ANYTHING!

Here,Now,and Then Dear Ada Lovelace, daughter of Lord Byron #17

Here,Now,and Then Dear Ada Lovelace, daughter of Lord Byron,

I thought I'd scribble out a few old words while I'm waiting for the oven to heat up. Thank you, Madam, for the Kind warm words in a card - I didn't think you're capable of anything quite so tasteful. You just never begin to amaze me! But no, it really isn't my burfday on December 25th - you're getting me confused with J.C., and it's good of you to bring him up to my level, but does he deserve it? Answer briefly.
Your pole lilac is acceptable, you say you've only been writing to me for a few weeks and already you're progressing. I'm not the only one that can save you now. Oh yes, my lifestyle is very interesting - beyond description even. As Lord Howard once whinged; "sometimes I stand, and sometimes I sit". These are the quotes, folks. It's all these wild scenes in Manchester, you know.
I'm going out to the states to redeem the social outcasts. My only real ambition is to cultivate your looks. I love your lips,eyes and skin. You must watch "The wonder years", on BBC-America on Sunday. Do you have BBC-America up there? That show! It was my first real sexual relationship. To me seeing and loving a great show is like having a sexual relationship. Real Gothic, man (as the Greeks would say).
Oh my! Yes, the poor Velvets! I spent my entire 12th year locked in my bedroom with "All tomorrow's parties"! I was such an incendiary child. Morrissey's voice paralyses the imagination. I'll be your mirror, reflect what you are, in case you don't know. Ah yes, I remember it all well. As for the court of the Crimson King, well, I never did like Genesis. The Cure Live? Such a novelty! Poor Mr. Smith was never "live". Always insufficient wit, and how did "Walk on the Wild Side" get passed the BBC-America censors? TOTP even! Ah yes, I remember it well. You, of course, are far too young. Per nod after the breast? Very philosophic.
No, no, no, you wouldn't want to go to Moscow. It's far too draughty . Big countries are. And you would be completely lost in Germany. Think of all the intellectual pressure? I'd rather imagine you in say, Floripa or Buenos Aries. And wouldn't the Australian bush be better than Glasgow? England is very like America - except, of course, for the language.
Yes, I know Orange Juice, (I do read my paper, y'know). Such lovable hair-do's. Nostalgic. About 3 people turned up. The group were appalling and I'll know better next time. On Tuesday I saw The Motels remember them. Why? Don't ask silly questions. This has been a bad week. Bowie on K-Tel! and Morrissey this Friday in Cochella Are you ready for THAT? Of all revolting labels on God's dear earth.
Yes, I love jazz (IE Ludus). I wish you wouldn't mention Miss cut-copy. Or, should I say "Miss Thing". I dislike him more than I can tell you. People with receding hairlines never know much about anything. And such ugly shoe-taste too. You ought to be ashamed! Why don't you repent by rushing down to your mega-store and buying OMD'S "SUGAR TAX" or Erasure "I SAY,I SAY,I SAY" - or even U2 "Joshua tree"? If you leave now you'll just be in time for the next bus.
Oh yes, celibacy is real hip (sister), but, "no man is an island" so the saying goeth. And haven't you HEARD about sexual repression? You'll probably end up strangling your mother or becoming some deranged bisexual psychopatic child-murderer. So sad about John. I almost cried. I have none of this records and didn't care about The Beatles. But when people who devote a part of their lives to 'peace' are shot 5 times for it, well, THAT disturbs me. It's always the wrong people. Nobody would assassinate our dear prime minister or president. Is all life sad? What are YOU going to do with your life? I always like to end my letters on a serious note.

Be young, be foolish, and be happy. "NO SEX" Jay

P.S. I repeat: is your SMILE REAL?

P.P.S. There isn't one.

Dear Queen Elizabeth, of England #16

Dear Queen Elizabeth, of England,

So funny thing happened today on my way to see uncle Rob, I felt bad about you, don't know why I was gonna buy you a flower and put it in your car, and I went to pay for it and pulled out my wallet it's the first thing i saw so it must have been the first thing you saw too.
I would have voted for you but, I wasn't sure that you'll be on the ballet. This town sux's the music is no good and the people talk funny. but I wanna congratulate you on making it legal to kiss you I cant wait to follow the law.
Will you send me a picture of your eve costume? Do you HAVE a boyfriend?
What exactly do you DO with your life anyway? You don't tell me ANYTHING. other than concerts.
There's a fab film on T.V. america on Saturday at 4:30, "Party of Five" with Neve Campbell.as the beautiful Miss Julia as created by the un-groovy people. Watch it with your beautiful eyes . Or perhaps you'll be too busy at the Virgin mega-store? Wake up at the back there.
Have you filled in your Morrissey poll sheet yet? Ha ha (yawn). Are there any local groups up there worth writing home to mother about?
Well, I really must watch Beth Hart in concert on mal, do you like her? tee-vee. Write to me soon and try to smile it looks good on you.

Morrissey Saved My Life, Jay

P.S. Morrissey has made it very clear that their wouldn't be a Smith reunion. I just hope that he keeps to it. Not that I wouldn't love to see the Smiths but Morrissey has stated that he would eat his own testicles before he would reunite the Smiths. I don't want to see him reunite for money or for publicity. It's like The Cure who stated that they would break up in 2000, then made about 3 albums after that. Now they are going to collaborate with Ashlee Simpson??!!?! WTF!? That really makes me not respect them anymore(not that I thought the Cure were ever great).

December,January,March,June,October What ever month i wish it was, 1981 Dear Mrs.Bowie #15

December,January,March,June,October What ever month i wish it was, 1981 Dear Mrs.Bowie

Thank you most sincerely (Real) for your letter, which was an education in itself. Like Shakespeare before you, you stir a place in my heart unstirred since, well, I don't have to tell you EVERYTHING, do I? Oh, and thank you for your photo. It came in handy until the plumber arrived it killed everything hehe. Did you know you had a live caterpillar on your lip? Real deco, sweetheart. You could have smiled and made it even more beautiful but it's dreadfully unfashionable, isn't it? Observe the enclosed piccy of your author, disguised as an artiste. This photograph is suitable for framing. Incidentally your real name IS Goddess, isn't it? Everyone in California is either too thin or to fat or terrible. but you are just (PERFECT) Have you got a real Beverly Hills accent? How novel! Why don't you join a traveling circus? I'm honoured that you liked my writing paper. As for your paper, well, it's very blue. Are you really a protestant? How sad. You'll never know the joys of the church in that case? Wouldn't you just LOVE to kiss the Pope's feet? Spider and I? Piffle me girl. There Gops Concorde? Sputter-butter. Vienna? Hogwash. It's a good job you have me around to provide continual cultivation. sorry is just the Morrissey in me. Everybody has a Mozzer in them.
Your mentioning Pernod brings me back to the "You are the Quarry" tour (I discovered they drink then.) These days it's strictly cinzano, or vodra they are (DRINKS) "ANGEL". But yes, I'm missing Mae terribly (Beer? What an insult!) And to think she was only 88...such a waste.
No, I wouldn't wish to terminate our astral relationship. You are, I'll admit, a curious psychological study, and I'm sure you have a sense of humour...somewhere. Nope, we're not close to the blast, so don't worry your little brain. People have been panicking about The Bomb since the early 50's. Things haven't changed.
But if it does drop, well, meet me on the desert shore (as the old song goeth).
Have you ever traveled anywhere overseas? Have you ever been to Manchester? Have you ever been to, or would you like to go to, the boring old Italy? I'm going back there on Jan 15th. Yipee well, I've never been. Away from this godforsaken place. I'll be going to New York first, and then on to Colorado where I'll be living. I'll give you my address there as I hope you'll continue to mesmerize me with your pushing intellect. I'll miss Coronation Street and I'll miss The Simpsons (Yes, I watch it damnit), but I WON'T miss Reality T.V. I hate that so much.
From the desk that Support's my hand to write this letter, Jay

P.S. if she is beautiful, if she's a lesbian, if she's crazy, if she is scary etc, etc. I don't know why so many people don't have the ability to see, the true of beauty that this woman can transmit, after all we are humans and if we could see beyond our hearts there is no skin, no color, no status, no race, just one soul that feels.

Well, Mrs. Cleopatra "As Julia would tell you, occasionally I sing that song in tune, and it's much better..." #14

Well, Mrs. Cleopatra "As Julia would tell you, occasionally I sing that song in tune, and it's much better..."

Here is what burning waxings that presently turn me on (babee);

At Amber (Morrissey)

Leave (R.E.M.)

Seasick, Yet Still Docked (Morrissey)

Rockin in the free World (Neil Young & Pearl Jam)

Sunday (David Bowie)

Love Song For A Vampire (Annie Lennox)

Knives Out (Radiohead)

Fade Into You (Mazzy Star)

Do you get out much? Or do you watch television all week? You really don't tell me much about yourself. Are you catholic,Jewish or what? The questions are getting desperatesville. Who are you anyway? I know absolutely NOTHING about you. Maybe it's just as well, Are you a nice person? Are your parents rich? Do you smoke (I supposed you do)? Failure to answer these questions may result in prosecution. I wish you'd send me not a photo but yourself. I like to see who I'm criticising. Oh well, I'm off upstairs to play "Love Jesus"!

Your good friend of friends, Jay

"Love is a stranger In an open car To tempt you in And drive you far away. Its savage and its cruel And it shines like destruction Comes in like the flood And it seems like religion Its noble and its brutal It distorts and deranges And it wrenches you up And you're left like a Love zombie."

Dear, Founder of Good looks #13

Dear, Founder of Good looks,

Thank you for your letter which had everything I knew it would have with the English language as we know it. I shall light a candle for you this Sunday - how else could you be saved?
This world business is really gripping I just can't wait to get it completed (yawn).
Thank you for the photo. Has anyone ever told you that you look like the FAMOUS you? You sound and look like a real fun kiddo. The postcard was a scream - I feel asleep reading it. Is it too late to ignore your Sounds voice? haha.....
So, you don't think I'm insane? Coming from you this isn't too encouraging (wink,wink). I'm convinced that you're insane just like me. I'm usually right about these things.
Today I bought the "Achtung Baby" by U2. It's a lovely record, but I feel I would enjoy it much more if I had you next to me. Actually, I have your picture. Are YOU "that n' gorgeous"?
I'm sorry the record got lost. That sounds very careless. I wish I could lose mine
What End music doth you dig? I have always considered "NEW ADVENTURES, TEN and VIVA HATE" to be one of the best albums ever, and "Under the influence" is fab too. As for old Uncle Bowie - "Heathen" must be his 'meisterwork' Im too into it. As for 'BICAMERAL' (everyone knows what this means, schmock-face), why not observe the run-off of 'Boy's Keep Swinging'? Heavens above!
Don't tell me you take acid! or have you? I might have known you're so typically 1980,90's. As for the "??? for me", well, such things are beneath discussion. I supposed you like "sex" too, and masturbate to pictures of oh! SO typical.
Since you so politely ask, in my spare time I waltz around sunny wanna be Manchester in Los Angeles looking sultry, overeducated, and kinda deco (whatever that means). I consider it my only real purpose in life to look as bored as humanly possible. I'm SO old-fashioned. are you the same in so many ways we are the same. and i don't even like you sonny/Penny Lane/Marie Antoinette/Miss. Gold/Founder of Goodlooks/ANGEL. so many names for you and more to come....

What ever people say I am, that's what I'm not, Forever, Jay

P.S. The neverending of you, has gone to an all time high.....

Well Miss. Gold #12

Well Miss. Gold,

Fancy seeing you here. Surprise, surprise... as always, is the sight of the night... How are you?
What would you like to know about Brasil, you beautiful song? Don't tell me you've never been! you should see my face as i said that haha... Every empty soul has been to Brasil (and incidentally, only the uneducated say "Brazil", the hip lingo specialists say "Brasilia", baby.)
What are your favorite films? What's your fave color? Answers on a postcard please.
As for your medical dentist, I just hope it turns out to be pornographic. Why don't you send me a nice photograph? Isn't that what we're supposed to do?
Well, I don't know if you read the music press but if you do, you will know... (Morrissey 'You know him, that singer we both love') said "Am I really so obvious? Yesss..." so MORRISSEY LIKE.....funny!
Thank you for listening. Thank you for standing while you read this. I know how you just hate to sit... but you have to be up for work tomorrow... (no! yes!) You have to be at McDonald's sharp to eat flesh... oh yes!" Thank you for being so kind... Please, don't forget me, don't forget Pres. Bush, don't forget Ophelia, don't forget Jesus, don't forget Bowie, AND PLEASE don't forget Morrissey. I love you!"

-no one in particular, but include, Jay

Dear Marie Antoinette., Queen of France and of Navarre #11

Dear Marie Antoinette., Queen of France and of Navarre.

So pleased that you enjoyed my last letter/ text. Why don't you just admit that every word I write fascinates you? It would save so much time. The nicest thing I can say about you is that you exist. I consider it my puristic duty as self-elected chairman of our National League of Deceny to cultivate your mind at once. My only fear is that it may already be too late...
It was a terrible blow to hear that you actually worked my god why?. I didn't think anyone did so anymore. It's so old-fashioned to work. I'd much rather lounge about the house all day looking fascinating. I'd rather look fascinating than have a permanent income. Am I insane?
It was very considerate of your parents to make you so well, I add perfect. Are they fond of little gorgeous thing? And as for your being the youngest child, well, don't you know that "THE YOUNGEST IS THE MOST LOVED" I like Radiohead also, especially the OK computer & Pablo Honey and 'Natalie Merchant'. Also, Simon. I love 'Bookends', it must be his best album ever. I have most of their stuff, and I've seen them 3 times. met him too.

Your interest in autolux is surely the result of having nothing to do. I still love you. I hate, loathe, detest, abhor, abominate, cannot stand or abide Miss Mariah Carry. To me, all electronic music is just a sad accident well not Depeche Mode, they are good. So, you had an "exciting package from me "; The one I send via mail. did you tell your friend that you had an exciting gift from me? Of course you did!
You ask if I'm interested in Art. Well, there's art and there's Art. Do you mean paintings, or creative writing? I am interested in films which are Art to me, and also, BOOKS, and some 'music'...
It's interesting about your friend Jen, a big Morrissey fan. Are all your friends like this? Incidentally a fan?, I saw you on facebook last week - but why did you choose the name d.gold? It's nice of you to bring Morrissey's writimg up to my level, but he really doesn't deserve it. And why do you say you like "MIA" why? she's so far from good. "It was really nice knowing you" so many ?'s....

Write soon please, there's a good boy here that can't wait to read.
Sometime in the late '90s, Jay

P.S. your royal palace is so therapeutic

So Mrs. Penny Lane #10

So Mrs. Penny Lane

You say you listen to "electronic bands". Does that mean every and cut-copy? If so, it was very nice knowing you...
Besides Bowie, I dribble over Morrissey, Gaz, Alain, Boz, Spencer. Have you heard these people? I know you have I'm just being silly! with you silly!
Do you get many replies to your fab eyes? Anyone as fascinating as me? Don't answer that.
Did you see vintage Bowie on the R,S, 70's review? we are to young for that and I know Bowie is not big on you but, I still like to bring up his name as if you didn't know that by now. Almost funny if the rest of the programme wasn't such an obvious self-gratification slot for Mother Harris. Nice to see R.E.M., do you like R.E.M? and weren't Roxy Music just Fab City?
So, which is your most treasured Morrissey waxing? Or is it possible to say? See, a whole 1/4 page without an insult! "Ah's losin' mah touch" as the late great Tallulah Bankhead once said. "Is all life sad?" as the late great Jayne Mansfield said. "Bye, bye, poncho!" I said that silly.
I'm glad you enjoyed me in Rebel Without A Cause, if I was ever in it.

Love & trash, Jay - from the world that spins in a way i cant feel

P.S. Did you see the reviews our beloved Morrissey is getting on this tour? I almost feel bad for him. it must be that hard to go up against music that sells, what a terrible generation it is now. do you agree?

P.P.S. There is not one bad picture of you is there......

Dear Angel #9

Dear Angel,

I thank you for your smile, Sunny.

I was--on my way to see you because I knew you would be there.......God, I thought I was gonna have an ocean.....to think about what I wanted to say to you, and I needed to say. I used to believe -- well I mean I, still do. That if you give something or someone your all, your best, everything you have, It doesn't matter if you win or loose. As long as you risked everything, put everything out there for that one shoot of happiness, eternal love. And I think I know I have done that. I did it in my life. I did it....with my heart. And I want it with you. I wanna hold you You may not believe that. And the day I say that I don't need you, that's the day that I will need you the most and I know you will feel the same. Because you too will need me the most. I had a night that should have been the biggest night of my life, and it wasn't because you weren't there. The piece to my puzzle was missing, you complete me, you surround me. So I just wanted to tell you, Not so you change your mind or keep you from going'. But just that you know -- that I know. That I need you....... You know I've seen Scarey Bowie 2 times, or more I think, but really, and I can't even remember because all I can remember is my visit to your home. However, the fact remains that I have (and, as the great Dr. Phyliss Chessler M.D. once said, "facts speak louder than statistics".) I saw Him first on July 9, 2000, and last on september 8, 2007. Why is it so impossible?

From this end always, Jay